I was reading today, an article by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, from Family Life.com. It made me wonder, how many of us are running on autopilot, when we should be proactively teaching our teens what it looks like to have healthy relationships with the opposite sex?
Perhaps we have just let it slide, or put it off, or have felt uncomfortable about it for various reasons. Is it the topic alone? Or have we not even determined for ourselves what our boundaries should be? Maybe guilt from our past is hindering us. Maybe we just haven't thought about it. But I guarantee you, the devil IS thinking about it.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 (KJV)
We could easily get sidetracked by the minutia of questions. Should I let my teenagers date, what about group dates, what about, what about, what about...? But if we are followers of Christ, we can look to some of the basic standards of holy living.
For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 2 Timothy 3:2-4 (ESV)
So what are we doing? Are we leaving it up to chance and hoping for God's mercy? Or are we being proactive? What are some things you are doing to be proactively teaching our teenagers God's way for their relationships?
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22 (ESV)
I think the best way (for me, at least) to teach the teens I know how to conduct themselves in relationships is by example. I don't have let myself have intimate, emotional conversation with any man other than my husband. I set strict boundaries for myself in my own relationships, and I encourage my teens to do the same.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great point - it made me start thinking of other ways we might set an example. Am I always talking respectfully to my husband? How do I talk about him when he's not around? I hope I am always lifting him up and never tearing down, but it causes me to stop and think about it. And I like the point about boundaries. What healthy boundaries have I put in all of my relationships? I think those are good to talk about with our teens too.
ReplyDeleteGreat comments! :)
Oh how I LOVE your perspective Grace! It is my personal belief that we are to be proactive in our childrens lives..forever! Even after they are grown and out of the house. They watch us and we are forever teaching. My experience is that they will come to US if they have this kind of relationship with us.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post!
Blessings
Shari thank you for your encouragement today. Some days I find I lose my perspective. It can be so painful to see one of our children in an unhealthy relationship. We are praying that God will help them open their eyes to the darkness that is seeking to entrap them. Patiently praying that they will remember the examples we have tried to set before them and that God, by His grace will intervene. At the same time...now wondering...at what point do we be proactive and step in - and confront and adult child who is in this situation? Praying for the right opportunity and gentle words, about holy living and healthy boundaries - that we would draw them back and not push away...
ReplyDeleteOh that God would have mercy on our feeble but love-filled attempts to parent, and grace us with his wisdom!