“Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” Matthew 18:18
If you are praying about something, or someone like your husband, children, or friends, think of this verse in terms of binding or loosing that issue.
If we are binding something, we are preventing or stopping some evil thing or influence in their life.
If we are binding something, we are preventing or stopping some evil thing or influence in their life.
If we loose something, we are allowing what is good to enter into their life.
As followers of Christ, we have a direct line to God who hears our prayers. And we have authority in Jesus name to pray this way.
What are some of the things you would like to bind in your husband’s life? Anger, abusiveness, negativity, substance abuse, laziness, passivity? What about in your childrens' lives?
What are some things you would like to loose on earth? Patience, love, unity in your marriage, peace, a heart of forgiveness, holiness?
I am actually quite hesitant to write about this...I am asking myself, Who am I? I don't have the answers. I prayed over my first marriage in tears. For many years. But it didn't get better; it got worse. And in the end...I gave up trying. I handled it my own way. The marriage disintegrated and ended in divorce. I wish I had an answer for why my prayers seemed to go unanswered.
I spent months, no...years, struggling - trying to understand where God was through those dark years I went through. I felt like God abandoned me. Maybe I didn't do all I was supposed to do on my end. For a long time, I struggled with why God didn't answer my most deep and heart-felt prayers. As a result, my prayers became less frequent and more shallow. I read books like, When God Doesn't Make Sense and Disapointment with God. It helped a little. I was reminded that we all still have free will. And He's there to comfort us and see us through.
I am now remarried and although I had uncertainties as to the Lord’s ability (or willingness) to answer my prayers, it’s all I know to do. If I don't pray, what else can I do? So...I pray. Only this time…I'm seeing prayers answered. It’s not that I have a bad marriage. I have a wonderful marriage. But since we're not perfect people, there’s always something to pray about…and I’m seeing my small prayers answered.
What is the difference? I wish I knew. Maybe it was my first husband’s mental illness and darkness of heart. Maybe God can only work with a willing heart? My husband is not perfect, but he has a heart that is willing to listen when God is calling him. On a few occasions, after I had spent some time praying to God about something I was concerned about, my husband would bring up the topic to me. I never even told him I was thinking about it! The timing was too coincidental. Sometimes it might be something small with one of our kids, and I would just notice a change in a behavior. Or a door of opportunity. Sometimes those doors ended up closing.
Yes, I still have unanswered prayers and I don't understand why. I just hope in God for his perfect timing....and I'm still working on adjusting my expectations of His will. His answer may not be what I want to hear. But I see Him answering my prayers often enough to say, "Why wouldn't I want to pray?" About everything. And just watch and see what He does, the God of mercy and grace.
Lord, I pray for my family that You would bind up hardness of heart, laziness, apathy and mediocrity. Bind up selfishness and bitterness. Loosen hearts that seek righteousness, love for one another, and holiness. Loose the opportunities for each member of my family to grow as You intend.
How have you struggled with unanswered prayers?
I have been praying for all my siblings to accept Jesus into their lives. I have not given up and will not, though sometimes I just want it to happen NOW! But I am expecting answers.
ReplyDeleteThank God He answers, and thank God you are seeing answers.
Thanks for visiting my blog, I now follow on you.
God's grace and peace!
Ugochi, oh praying with you for your siblings. Yes, it can be so difficult to wait for those answers to prayer. Trusting in God's perfect timing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, also for your visit. Following you back. :)
Grace and mercy to you,
The best definition of mercy I have heard ever is this..... To free someone from the punishment that they deserve
ReplyDeleteMy marriage was/is far from perfect. My husband and I were growing more and more distant and further apart from one another. He made his mistakes as did I. And I prayed, nothing, very little happened. I then took a good look at myself and at my husband and realized that I didn't want my marriage to end up that way. To see what God wanted for me, us and to see my own behaviors not aligning up with who God wanted me to be. Neither of us happy, going through the motions. I prayed, I did the Love Dare and the church I attend is amazing in their teachings on what a real marriage is supposed to be. To make that change in myself first. To prepare my heart for the things to come. Things started to change. Slowly and at first and only in myself. Even when my husband came home and wanted nothing to do with me I still prayed for him, for us and reached out to him. My husbands heart was hard and he was far from God. Was it easy no! It was difficult, to consonantly be rejected by the one who is supposed to love you in ALL of your faults. I soldiered on with God by my side correcting me when I was not being the wife I was supposed to be. Slowly my husband returned to me. Slowly he brought God back into the center of his life. We work on us everyday. We are so much happier then we have ever been. Learning what it is to be a good husband and wife. God is good if we allow Him to be.
God wants reconciliation not separation. If you feel like God abandoned you then maybe God was telling you that something was not right. Some piece of your soul is out of rhythm, out of sync with God's Spirit. Somewhere you got off track and were not living the way of Jesus. Don't question God, question yourself. It is a hard thing to do, to look into the person you were/are and to admit your faults and failings and to ask forgiveness and to make that change. I know from first hand experience. We want to make those excuses, well he isn't being the husband that he is supposed to be so I have a right to act like this. Not so at all, regardless of what we are going through and the experiences we have had we still need to be the person God is calling us to be. Giving up is never an option in any situation. Especially in your marriage.
Love is more then a feeling. Love is an action..
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I hope I am not coming across as pointing fingers at you or judging you that is not my intent or my place. But you yourself said that you gave up. I am just trying to understand where you stood in that moment. And to share with you a piece of my story. To be able to let go and truly let God is the most amazing most powerful thing that one can do in their life. Why did you give up? Because it was hard, because you say your husband had mental illness and darkness of heart? Sometimes evil things happen, and people sin, its not fun and it is never easy But God is there, in the darkest parts of your story, doing the work of redemption.
Sometimes I think that unanswered prayers are God's way of saying I am not done yet. There is still more to learn, more refining to do. Maybe God is waiting for us to let go of whatever it is we are holding so strongly onto. Be still and know....
I pray that God will bless you in your new relationship and to remember that it is not what God can do but what He chooses to do!
I like your definition of mercy. I also like these two: 1) compassion, kindness or forgiveness shown especially to those under one’s power. 2) a welcome event or situation that provides relief or prevents something unpleasant from happening.
DeleteWhat an encouraging testimony your story is! Thank you for sharing that. I hope it is an encouragement to others out there.
You have asked me the same questions I have asked of myself over the last 20 years or so and I’m not sure I have all the answers yet. Oh yes, I examined myself hard for years. I read numerous Christian books on marriage and tried to do everything that was in my power to do, that being, mostly working on ME. Looking back, I think maybe my biggest problem, was surrendering to my own fear. I probably should have initiated a separation early on in the marriage, but as it was an abusive situation, I was afraid for my children. If he had unsupervised visits, there would be no one there to protect them from his unpredictable and violent behavior. So instead, I tried to be patient, praying, searching and waiting. I’m sure there were many things I could have and should have done differently.
Why did I give up in the end? I’m not sure I can fully express to you (in this format) what was going on in my head at the time (I have written my story but it is multiple pages). Confusion, desperation, depression, and a selfishness directed toward my own misery. I let myself feel helpless and hopeless. I let myself give up on God. It was through an older Christian lady at my church, who had gone through a similar situation, who strongly encouraged me to separate, for my safety and that of my children. It took me about a year after that to get up enough courage to pack up my children and take those steps out the door. If I had done that years sooner, perhaps things would have turned out differently. But that’s not what happened. Poor choices were made by both parties. Years later, I finally reached a place where I could offer true forgiveness. The kind that doesn’t secretly seek retribution. Oh, early on I told him I forgave him. I told God I forgave him too. But my heart struggled with it. I also asked for his forgiveness. And now, I pray for him. I pray for him because he is the father of my children. I pray for him because God loves him. I pray for God to heal him of his diagnosed and undiagnosed conditions. I pray that God would heal his mind of his delusional thoughts and help him deal with reality. I pray that God will bless him. We still have some communication because of the children and more recently, it has been free of bitter words.
And God has slowly been doing a work in me. I realized I had felt abandoned by God and found it hard to trust Him again. I’m so glad He is patient with me. As I have drawn closer to Him in the past few years, I found how much I have missed walking closer with Him. I may never fully understand where He was exactly in all I went through for so many years. But I know He loves me and has a purpose for my life. I am forever grateful for the God of the second chance. Maybe He can use my experiences to help someone else. I don’t know, but there is one thing I do know. I know who my Redeemer is. My life is not my own. I was purchased with a price. Now my life belongs to Him. And there is this wonderful peace and security that comes with that.
Thank you for your words of truth, and your graciousness.
I am so sorry to hear that it was such an abusive relationship. And that you were fearful for your children.
ReplyDeleteHindsight is 20/20. See the evidence of the creative activity of God all over your story. If only, we say to ourselves we could go back and change things that have happened. If only I could change his behaviors, if only I could change my reactions, if only I could change ________, if only! As the Bible says.... " In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." ~ 1 Peter 1:6-7 " And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, steadfast." ~ 1 Peter 5:10 To know and to understand that my/your suffering in not in vain. That we can/will grow from it, if we choose and we will be stronger then ever in our Lord God and know that God Himself will restore us! What hope, what excitement to know that God is on our side. Sometimes things happen that just downright suck (lack for a better word) but knowing that God is right there and that The gospel hope is not that everything that happens is God's will, but that no matter what happens, God is with you, and redeems anything.
I read this and it has stuck with me..... Forgiveness doesn't absolve anyone of blame. It doesn't clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you're not turning them loose. You're
just turning them over to God who can be counted on to deal with them His way. It's about freedom. It's about letting go. It is not always easy and we can't do it on our own. Sometimes it is a daily choice that we have to make. Lord, I know I have already forgiven this person but today is a hard day, please help me to reconfirm my forgiveness of them help me out today, I pray. Amen
The wounded healer. I am a wounded healer, you are a wounded healer. We just have to be open and willing to the opportunities that God sets before us. To go out unashamed to spread the good news of what God has done in our lives. To help others in the same or similar situations as our own. The only thing that we will ever know is that God is there, in the midst of our darkest days, in the midst of our finest hours. To seek after Joy. We are commanded to be joyful. How great is that! To live a life of joy, to know that in the midst of anything I can STILL be JOYFUL! I can still find peace!
God wants all of me! God wants every part of my life, every second of every day! To Him be the Glory, and Honor and Power.
Worry about nothing. Pray about everything. Thank God for anything.