Restored Lives

We have children graduating this year. Today I set aside some time to go through old childhood photographs to put together a photo memory board for the graduation party. As I went through years of pictures of my stepchildren, I also saw years of what looked like many happy memories. A husband and a wife. Births and birthday parties. Trips, vacations, holidays and family gatherings. A well-cared for home and furnishings. From all appearances, the perfect family. The dream family I wanted.

At the same time, I had a family of my own. Children I loved with all my heart. But it was full of heartache. Yelling. The pain of abuse and manipulation. Lost dreams. Trying to make it appear normal and happy. There were also pictures of births and birthday parties. Vacations, holidays, and family gatherings. But it fell apart. Divorce.

The dream family fell apart too. She gave up everything I longed for.  Such a jumble of feelings. Sorrow for two families torn apart. Joy for my new blended family. Envy for the years I didn't get to share with my now husband. But I can't think that way. Neither of us would be the people we are today if we had not gone through those difficult years. Molding, sharpening, refining.

My new family is a gift. I am so blessed by each member of my blended family. I love seeing all of our family together in church every Sunday. I love when all our children are together. I love listening to all of them dialogue with each other. I can see how their care for one another crosses bloodlines. My heart swells with joy.

“And I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten...” – Joel 2:25

"The good news is that God has promised to restore us from all the troubles of our past, the heartaches from broken relationships, the struggles from defeat, and the frustrations of our lives. All the times that we have felt broken beyond repair, God has promised to restore. We cannot change the past. We cannot go back and do things over again. But from this moment forward we can give over to God our anxieties about the past and trust Him to restore what has been lost. We can learn from sin in our past and resolve to live fully for Christ from this day forward." (Mission Venture Ministries)

I shouldn't look back with remorse, but with thankfulness. Because to go back and do it differently would mean giving up one or more of our family members. I am so thankful for my family. Each and every one. I love them all so very much. Each is a gift from God. Each so precious. God has poured mercy over us. Many hurting hearts being healed with his balm of grace.