His Plans are Best

I became a mother for the second time 17 years ago today. I didn’t know it then but that sweet little bundle would turn out to look a lot like me. I would go on to have more children and I had hopes and dreams for them all. Not that I wanted this one to be a doctor, or that one to be a lawyer. Just that God would do great things with them.

With each child I bore, I had aspirations to raise them perfectly. Didn’t you too? Didn’t we read all the books and articles? Say all the right prayers. Do all the “right” things? Oh, I know I made mistakes. A LOT.

Thank you, Lord, for having mercy on these children in spite of their mother. And it is grace that they were too young to remember many of those mistakes.

Over the years, of course, there were ups and downs. Bumps in the road. And also wonderful moments of pride and joy. Those are the best. Cakes and candles. Awards and achievements. Ribbons and trophies. The camera comes out and captures the smiles and saves those memories. Perhaps for the times we really need them. Because when you hit one of those bumps in the road, don’t we tend to focus on that negative and maybe… forget the positive?

Sometimes my husband and I would look at each other and say, “I thought children were supposed to bring us JOY?!” (It’s best to laugh here. That was our way of dealing with our moment of stress.)

So what happens when things don’t go as we had planned? As I had planned out in my mind. I blame myself. I wonder what I did wrong. It must be something I did.

First I tried to fix it myself. I tried again and again and again. Different ideas and things I could do. Nothing I did seemed to make the situation better.

Why do I always do this? Why do I always wait until I’m feeling desperate to call on the Almighty?

I crumble in prayer and cry out to God.  

And when I finally quiet myself long enough before Him, He starts to speak to my heart.

Are you done trying to carry this all by yourself? I’ve been here all along, but I’m not going to force it out of your hands. You’ve been so busy trying to fix something that you couldn’t hear. Now that you are quiet, you can hear Me tell you. There is nothing you need to fix. I’ve got it under control. This is part of My plan. But My plan is different than yours. Be patient and see what unfolds.

Why do I transfer my worries onto them and such pressure on myself? Are my expectations too high? No, to say that would imply that my expectations are higher than His. Mine are just…different. But His plans are BEST.

I inhale deep and breathe out all that stress. Each time releasing a little more. And I reach a point of realization. Acceptance.

My worries and fears still creep in from time to time, but I just remind myself that I have let go of that burden and Someone else is taking care of it. If I really feel the need to do something, the best thing I can do is talk to the One who is in control.

Oh, thank You for your grace!

 Grace and Mercy to you,